My friend introduced me to Tanya Chua’s songs lately. I have liked some of her songs before, and it’s not just her raspy voice or indie-style melodies that make her stand out; it is also her song lyrics which are able to paint interesting and colourful images in a concise manner. I especially like a phrase in her 达尔文：
The picture of revolving doors in our lives: of how we seem to turn and turn and still end up at the same spot. Or sometimes we are in the same revolving door as someone else who enters another part of that door, and you are separated by a panel of glass, and you both eventually exit at different exits. Or perhaps as the lyrics write, when the revolving door finally stops revolving, when we finally go through all of life’s and love’s revolutions, what is left is…us.
The idea of having ‘blank spaces’ between people in another of her songs, 空白格, reminds me of this theory I have about friendships. With some friends, there is a certain threshold in the level of closeness that you will never cross, no matter how hard you try. I guess it’s what people term ‘not being able to click’. The blank spaces between you seem like an gaping gulf, only to be punctuated by awkward silences or banal small talk or strained conversations. Not that you can’t be good friends, just not as deep as either one of you would like. Then on the other end, there are friends whom you cross that threshold very easily and things quickly become close and comfortable. And then with some of them, you sometimes wish that you had never crossed that threshold, or at least not that quickly, because the relationship has changed in nature and you yearn for the Times Before when you were just getting to know each other and eager to find out more. So the best place to reside sometimes is not before the blank spaces, or after, but IN the blank spaces. Hovering just between the unknown and the familiar, and realizing as Proust said, that love ever unsatisfied lives ever in the moment to come.